I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
