Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
