Soap is not a condiment
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
