You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
