my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
