the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
