Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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