Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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