you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
