I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
