im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
