i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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