ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
