$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
