David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
