i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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