i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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