I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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