i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
