Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i will never coherently bang her
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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