Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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