I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize