So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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