This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
