What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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