im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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