IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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