She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
