This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
