I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
