Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had sex on a roof
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
