I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When did angry sex become our thing?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
