I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
