Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
