ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
