I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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