I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
