I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
