Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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