She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
