i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
