there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Watching her eat just hurts me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
