best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
