So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
