One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize