Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize