Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
