Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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