It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
