I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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