just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
