Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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