How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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