It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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