He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
