I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
