my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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