she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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