Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
