They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
