garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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