she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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