oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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