Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
