let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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